Zeitgeist On Wheels


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Site Makeover and Upcoming Events

(Dictated through speech recognition software)

So this is a new form of dictation for me, but I’m excited to get started. I have lots of ideas brewing on a few subjects. I want to get involved with the New Z-land project. I want to get organized in showing documentaries and the Real News locally. I need to formulate ideas about living the life style that I am leading here in Bellevue, and further more ideas on how to transition this lifestyle into a greener approach. I have lots to update on the web site, but that almost seems overwhelming right now. I want to solidify our plans for moving to Olympia, including dates, specifics on jobs, and clearly defining what our life will look like. I want to make a transition plan including purchasing a diesel vehicle for the road service, moving forward on my HHO conversions, education on alternative ways of living. I also want to start with plans of doing the next bus mission. One idea is to step back from Zeitgeist for a while and switch to promoting the Real News.

I’m starting to have concerns about living like I am here in Bellevue. I had a dream last night about sword fighting with Dick Cheney using yellow construction levels. The setting was a parking garage of a hospital I remember the car ramps inside the garage as well as being on the roof. It is a very symbolic dream and although I can’t remember too many details it seems significant of the way that I’m living at the moment. I think that watching the documentary yesterday about Peter Joseph had an influence on the dream. The tendency is to fall back into mainstream living, even with the knowledge that I’ve gained, but I think that having a conscience won’t allow it for very long.

The balance is in not living a life of depravity, which seems to be the other extreme. I know there’s a way of living in abundance and harmony, I just need to define it for myself and then find it.

So I’m finding that the technicalities of dictation orally are slowing me down and breaking my thought process to the point that I’m unable to express what I hope to. Even in saying this sentence I had to do five corrections. I have to wonder that if I actually just talked for a while without looking at the screen whether or not I would be able to figure out what I was trying to say the first place. There would be no grammar that way and while there’d be no typos there would be words that should not be there.

I’m finding that the words inserted have nothing to do with what I mean to say which makes it difficult even moments after saying it to be able to correct it. I suppose the computer’s getting better understanding my voice. I’m not sure though if I am ready to open up into something important for fear of being interrupted to the degree that I am now. Part of it might be my fault for not speaking naturally as a teach it, but I suppose if the learning process for me too.

So as I sit here saying what I should do it dawned on me that I ought to start doing these things, so I called Soul Food in Redmond, and set up Z-day on March 13. Funny the subtle difference between should do and did do.

Anyway I hope to do more of these journals in the upcoming days and weeks. I also have a makeshift video camera after all this time, so I hope to post videos soon as well.


Tuesday, September 02, 2008
   
burn the guy already
Just got back from burningman.  what an epic adventure.  art by day, insanity by night.  anyone that has not been, pencil it off for next year.  it is 8 days in the desert with no creature comforts except that which you bring.  it redefines a shower when you have to haul every gallon 800 miles and create an evap system and some way of creating gravity fed water pressure.

Sun rises that bring tears to the eye, art cars that bring awe to the mind.  freedom of expression that brings hope for the daily interaction.  Love amongst the 53 thousand attendees, creation by at least half of them, respect from all.  Dust storms and deadly heat in the day and cold in the night.  Vastness that opens you to never seeing the same thing twice for the 8 days that you are there.  Gifting cafes, gifting coffee shops, gifting cocktail lounges.  A giant ketchup bottle serving the best fries in the world, a roller rink set up in the playa, and boutiques of free clothes abound.  This is burningman, one of the last remaining modern fire rituals of our civilization.



Friday, April 04, 2008
   
Another Look at UFOs
ufodisclosure.com CIA Chief Reports on UFO Cover-up in New York Times     WASHINGTON, Feb. 27 (UPI)—The Air Force has sent its commands a warning to treat sightings of unidentified flying objects as "serious business" directly related to the nation’s defense, it was learned today.

     An Air Force spokesman confirmed issuance of the directive after portions of it were made public by a private "flying saucer" group.

     The new regulations were issued by the Air Force inspector general Dec. 24.

     The regulations, revising similar ones issued in the past, outlined procedures and said that "investigations and analysis of UFO’s are directly related to the Air Force’s responsibility for the defense of the United States.

"Committee Reveals Document     Existence of the document was revealed by the National Investigations Committee on Aerial Phenomena.

     The privately financed committee accused the Air Force of deception in publicly describing reports of unidentified flying objects as delusions and hoaxes while sending the private admonition to its commands.

     Vice Admiral R. H. Hillenkoetter (Ret.), a committee board member and former director of the Central Intelligence Agency, said in a statement that a copy of the inspector general’s warning had been sent to the Senate Science and Astronautics Committee.

     "It is time for the truth to be brought out in open Congressional hearings," he said.

"     The Air Force confirmed that the document had been issued. A spokesman said it was put out by Maj. Gen. Richard E. O’Keefe, acting inspector general at the time, to call attention to revised Air Force regulations concerning unidentified flying objects.

     The statement was included in an "operations and training" pamphlet circulated at intervals to bring commands up to date.

     Pentagon aides said the new regulations covering seven printed pages, made no substantive change in policy but had been rewritten as a matter of course.

     The Air Force has investigated 6,132 reports of flying objects since 1947, including 183 in the last six months of 1959. The latest Air Force statement, issued a month ago said, "no physical or material evidence, not even a minute fragment of a so-called flying saucer, has ever been found.

"     Admiral Hillenkoetter said that "behind the scenes, high-ranking Air Force officers are soberly concerned about the UFO’s.

"     "But through official secrecy and ridicule, many citizens are led to believe the unknown flying objects are nonsense," the retired admiral said. He charged that "to hide the facts, the Air Force has silenced its personnel" through the issuance of a regulation.

"Feb 28, 1960"




Thursday, March 20, 2008
   
writings on the wall
I found this text scribbled on the wall of a cabin in a little town in Alaska


I am here for a fast of sorts.  I am not fasting of food or water, but of life.  I hope it to be a serious meditation, a destruction of ego, and a learning journey into another realm.  I am armed with this notebook, a voice recorder, a sleeping bag, and the spice.

Recently I have had experiences of dismantling my conscious mind in a physical way.  I have had experiences of timelessness offering a unique vantage point of where this life sits on the time line.  I have had all sexuality removed from the concept of love, and I have been offered access to the most ultimate, intimate wholly engrossing love that could ever be imagined.  Now I hope to go further.  I want a galactic journey and an intimate encounter with the beyond.  If I don't come home, just know that I chose not to come back, it was too beautiful to turn away from.

...

Consequently, I did make it back...  Over time, as I have become more familiar with this realm beyond, not that I am comfortable or familiar hardly at all, the visuals have decreased, and the significance has increased dramatically.  I do not believe that I have developed a tolerance for it, congruent with Straussman's studies, but instead I am developing a theory that this truly is a spiritual quest rather than a psychedelic one, and further I am suggesting that I have received its message, and therefore do not feel it's colorful mind bending effects anymore.  I do not think that I will necessarily stay in this space indefinitely, but for now the message has been received.

And what is the message?  The vast majority of my time spent on the other side left me speechless afterward, and aside from forgetting many of the deepest parts and an inability to even wrap my thoughts around the experiences, I fell short of words to try and describe and explain what had happened in verbal english, or a journal.  I think the 'chrysanthemum' of colors is a version of being spiritually overwhelmed.  With the exception of a few times where the colors played a specific role in the lesson, I have not seen the geometric color spectacle since before coming up to Alaska, the last one I recall being with a friend in the states, the colors less intricate and representing walls to the space or room I was in.  It was one of the few times I felt like a specimen, an autonomous being working some controls and watching me in a scientific fashion like he was on the job, and yet also excited to see me.

So my emphasis is on the shock value, the places you go and the things you see are so far beyond the waking realm that there is definitely a shock value.  Even in Mckenna's description of the machine elves, he quotes them as pleading, "Don't be amazed, don't give in to astonishment..."  The colorful confusion is the first lesson.  In order to get to the second lesson, this one must be learned.  This can be done with sheer will power, if you have enough of it.  Experience with certain drugs may help, but I did not have that advantage.  A calm confident mind full of meditative thought and harmony with your surroundings may help also.  A friend's first experience on it started out 'bad' in her words, the flashing colors representing trash of the modern consumer world - candy wrappers and smashed coke cans and things - but she powered through this and found a beautiful experience.  Or one can do it my way, beating my head on the wall trying over and over to attain something someone else had described.  In any case eventually the colors fade, the intangible becomes somewhat more tangible, and the lessons can move forward.

This is as far as I can predict for any other person.  Each individual has a separate set of spiritual lessons, strengths and weaknesses, and destinations.  In general I think it can be expected that you will be taught, or shown, confidence.  Also a view from beyond the third dimension, from where you can see your greater self, the parts that don't fit in space and time.  And with it a sense of where you fit in the time line, respect for times past and times to come.  I can only report the lessons that were delivered to me.

The ego is a funny thing.  The concept of it that I have always had, and the concept that I have now, almost merit separate definitions.  My classic definition places the ego as a primarily masculine concept, the thing that gets hurt next to pride.  The new definition is much more encompassing, paired with the idea of conscious thought instead.  The ego represents 90% of conscious awareness, if not more.  It is the voice that narrates your thoughts through the conventions of language.  It is that thought that drives you to Taco Bell at 2 AM when you're not hungry.  It is at many times irrational, it is easily manipulated, and - as well as in my old definition - it has been pumped up and overinflated, and has been given much more credence and power than it deserves.  It has been since Rome, since our 'time of Christ,' since the birth of Western Civilization even, that the ego has been given this exaggerated importance.  We left the animal kingdom with the birth of consciousness - and I believe it was necessary for evolution.  We left the balance and harmony with our earth in the development of western society, and as devastating as it has become, I believe this too was necessary for evolution.  The industrial revolution and Edward Bernays have turned us into brainless consumers and inflated this ego beyond reason.  Now I believe it is time to hand this gift back, this inflated gift of ego, and trade it in for the next level of evolution - higher consciousness.

A side tangent of a theory, but bear with me - What if the subconscious mind was not as age old as previously assumed.  What if animal instinct was separate from subconscious thought, and the subconscious mind IS the next step in evolution.  What if it is sneaking up on us and those who jump aboard evolve, and those who don't, don't.  Very similarly the Neanderthals - lacking the vision of future - failed to adapt to the ice age and perished, while the cave man was able to plan ahead with the discovery of fire.  So too may those perish, who refuse to transcend into the spiritual realm, as our planet quickly becomes uninhabitable.

As I beat around the bush with theories being put together almost as fast as I can write (finally the bells are sounding and connections are being made,) I'm sure it has become evident that ego itself was one of my biggest lessons, and it is one that will require much practice to master.  Not just ego, but the separation of ego.  Many times have I had it physically dismantled, personified and represented by objects in the room around me, the rafters, the ladder, the dining table.  The lesson here made simple by my 20/20 hindsight, was that in order to make a conscious observation of the room, and the situation I was in, it was required that I use my conscious mind, and thereby dismantle the image.  This type of lesson occurred on many occasions, the way it came on can be likened to taping a man's mouth shut and having him witness a car accident.  For him to rip off the tape and call for help is to fail the lesson, and fail I did over and over.  The way to pass the lesson for me is to hold that frozen thought, whatever it may be, hold onto it like the breath, don't think about what it is, or why you thought it, don't think ANYTHING, just hold.... and in holding have an experience that is free of ego, free of direct observation, it is the mastering of 'being in the moment' of Buddhism, it is spiritually participating, rather than physically observing, using ego to miss the point, but have something to report when you return to earth.

The mission that I always had, and held steadfastly to before and during each experience, was to reach Mckenna's version of what to expect.  This was a motive drawn directly from the ego, and it was the cause of much mental activity, mental static.  I toiled over this issue throughout my experiences, almost to the very end, this desire representing the flag ship of the ego activity - not all the activity, just the most constant.  This static was the primary driving force of the visuals - circus geometrical dancing images.  To silence the desire, the ego, was to silence the static, and only then could I see the amazing strength, beauty, grace, and steady love that was sitting there waiting the whole time.

I locked myself in the Bird House with provisions for a week's meditation  and a fast of life, I was done in five hours.  You can not go into these things with an intention, short of the desire to punch through the color hallucinating.  Instead of my ultimate trip, I received my ego, dropped in a flaming brown paper bag on the front door step, fully separated from its pedestal.  It was something I could hold at arm's length, see from all sides, grasp the limitations of its dimensions, and usefulness.  This concept was brought to me in a transcendent form itself - both during and between visions as I battled the wood stove to stay lit and provide some heat.  I crawled over to it one time and thought it might eat me, then stared at it contently (silence of ego) for a full 5 minutes before realizing I was looking at glowing embers, and not flames.  In all soberness, the fire was burning solidly for 3 hours or more, and even so I had no rise in temperature in the cabin.  This is ego bruising material to a guy that lives off grid in the woods of Alaska.  One experience was a hallucination of a sudden cold snap, as I lost body temperature more extremely and more rapidly than is normal, especially for it to be above freezing outside.  At the end of the 5 hours I was not satisfied.  I was unaccomplished, I was cold, and my mind was sprung.  I was hungry for something hot instead of the dumpster lunchables I had packed, and I was lonely.  On top of it all I had a bruised ego (to use my old definition) and it was all perfect, a lesson learned the hard way, kicking and screaming again.

Within a few minutes of this meditation, you are at the height of the experience.  Many times I experience this moment like a change in the tide.  Even to the degree that the multicolored geometric patterns come smoothly to a stop, pause momentarily, and reverse direction.  A few minutes later you are noticeably returning to the third dimension - sometimes for me it is like an elevator ride, coming out of the depths, one floor at a time, each with a degree of increased simplicity, and decreased beauty.  Our world is not the top floor, but it is close. 

Drinking alcohol that night provided opportunity as a scapegoat the next day to explain to myself and to others why I was so detached from reality.  The reason I was so 'out of it.'  The truth however was that my ego was so detached, so humbled, so put in its place that in every action I was taking, it was a new beginning for my recently-turned-infant-ego.  I should pause to note a significant difference with my redefined term 'ego.'  My confidence has been boosted dramatically in the recent months.  Confidence, ego, condescension, cockiness; these terms are each their own concept, capable of running on their own.  Recently I was at a campfire after a festival.  The crowd around me was largely comprised of professional musicians and we sang and played music all through the night.  It was one of the most touching moments of my life.  Around sunrise, a man, elf-like in features, beautiful voice, beautiful on guitar, stood up to face the rising sun.  He paused his improvised singing and dropped his clothes to the ground, reached to the sky and proclaimed, "I AM MAN!!" and then continued back into the song.  It is something poorly described here, yet so beautiful there.  To bring this back to my point about confidence, during an early deep meditation, I had the epiphany that it was true, "I AM MAN!," and "THIS IS MY STORY!!"  This new found confidence is of central importance to life.  We are here to learn, to grow, to live.

So the day after my 5 hour stint in the Bird House had me in a particular balance - confident, but without ego.  No condescending inner judgment, no operating narrative, I was fully living in the moment, helping a friend run a saw mill for my first time.  I was being more useful than normal, jumping in and doing, rather than sitting back and calculating a better way.  I had learned a valuable lesson, but there was more to be had.




Friday, March 17, 2006
   
the about me that used to be me, because I said I was, and if I wasn’t then why would I say I w
We find ourselves left here at the end of time. There is seemingly nothing to do that hasn’t been done, nothing to say that hasn’t been said, and nothing to feel that hasn’t been felt. This in turn also means we have all the tools we need, sitting right here in front of us, all we need to do is put them together. This is all that I am hoping to do. I am looking at the facts same as you. I am listening to the testimonials of experts on every subject from Quantum Mechanics to Economics to Religion to Psychedelics to History to Politics. It is a real world version of pictionary and at this point we need to start thinking about the picture they are painting for us. Those of us here in the end of time are the managers of the human experience. The research has been done, the reports have been submitted, even the calculations have been processed. This is the moment of truth. This is the proverbial Red or Blue pill. Will we take action or sleep through another thirty thousand year cycle? Take charge of your situation. Put fear aside. Wake up and be alive. Stop falling for the lies of politicians. Stop falling for the lies of the media. Stop buying into the corruption of the banking system. Stop giving your money and labor to big box stores. Do not do this for me or anyone else telling you what to think. Pull yourself away from your social pretenses. Go out in the woods, meditate, plant a garden, whatever – just step away and shake yourself off. Allow it to fade away to silence, and then ask yourself, free from your obligations, free from your desires, free from your expectations, ask yourself, What feels right? What feels natural? What feels like it has the energy to propel us into the future? And then invite slowly one aspect of life at a time to come back to you. This is easy to think of on a big scale; government corruption, big business enslavement, the world banking cartel, etcetera. Easy to think of but seemingly impossible to change. You can’t ignore the president, the congress, the law, just because you want to. You can’t quit your job just because you want to do something more fulfilling. You can’t stop paying the bank on your mortgage just because you don’t like their dishonest system. These things seem so big. They seem such a part of life that they can not be avoided until it comes as a system wide reform. As a side note I will comment that living life through the powerless words "I can’t" is no existence that I wish upon myself or anyone else. However I will grant you that quitting your job, foreclosing your house and moving out in the hills is an extreme start for a revelation. So start on a smaller scale. I am not going to tell you to donate to the world wildlife fund or to drive a hybrid car, these things are just as corrupt, they are off point and they provide a convenient silk screen for us to continue on the material consumeristic path that we started on. Instead, in your personal life, take charge of the things that sustain you. Become aware of the food you use to nourish yourself. Where it comes from, what chemicals are in it, and what it does to you (this includes the water you drink.) Say hello to the next person you see on the street, but say it out of love rather than out of fear. <<< this rant is unfinished >>>




Saturday, February 02, 2008
   
Omnivore’s Dilemma
I watched a short Video about the effect of this book on college freshmen and the consensus was that, yes the origin of our food is shocking, and no, it is not going to have an impact on the way they eat.  This seems to be the common response.  Global warming, well I still have to drive to work.  Unconstitutional taxation, well they can still come get me.  Corruption in the fundamental principles of the federal reserve and the value of our dollar, well I still have to pay my bills.  What can I do to change any of this?  Do I really have the power to make a difference?  No matter how much painful detail any of these eye opening documentaries can display and prove and beat into its audience, there is still a grassroots oppression of free will, self worth, and individual power.  The electric car was buried but I still have to drive.  American education is ranked amongst the worst in the world, but I still need a babysitter while I work.  My car will run on either veggie oil or at 100 Miles per Gallon on petroleum, but I will not go out of my way to obtain the efficiency.

I want to spread the word on these concerns, and plant seeds welcoming further research into these subjects which have been delicately explored and artistically presented by devoutly concerned people.  The contribution that I want to make is to express the concept that oppression is not the only existence.  On an individual level, we have not always been this far removed from the natural world.  I want people to look at their own lives and realize – see just for a moment how afraid they have become of their neighbor.  How afraid they are of the guy in line behind them at the grocery store.  I want to help people see that there is no reason to pass each other on the street and coldly neglect each other's existence.  It has been said before that we have a choice between fear and love – this is the idea that I want to explore.  There can be no hatred for the guy that cuts you off in traffic.  He is only doing what he has been programmed to do.  He is hating because he has been manipulated into fearing and misunderstanding his brethren around him.  I too need to work on this.  We need to give this angry individual our compassion.  We need to forgive him and see that he is a victim of this power hungry oppression.  We need to share our love with him.

These problems on the large scale are intimidating and it is hard to see a manageable solution, but if you look at the effect on your personal daily life, and make a conscious effort to reverse this effect, we can dissolve the energy that is holding us down.  The growth of this free thought, these awakening individuals is already on an exponential uprising.  We are quickly approaching the crucial point in that curve where this knowledge, this freedom, this love will have enough strength in numbers to absorb the hate and the darkness.  There are dark times ahead, but progress is accelerating and within our lifetimes we will have the opportunity to pass through this darkness to the transformation ahead.

The thing that I want to bring to people is a circle.  Everything in our existence is a circle, or a cycle.  A great analogy was presented to me about squares and boxes.  Our modern world is the materialization of an obsession with boxes.  To explain it quickly, we live in a box (house,) we get news and entertainment out of a box (television,) in a box (the den or living room.)  We drive to work in a box (car,) a lot of us park in a box (parking garage,) we work in a box cleverly named 'cubical.'  Zooming out our office is a box, and the building is a box.  The street block is a box and even the city limits are a box.  A quick meal is served to us in a box, or we go out to the grocery box (store) and get supplies packaged in boxes.  This analogy can go on and on, but the point I want to make is the circle.  The natural world is one of circles.  Where to begin… Our planet is a circle with a circle (moon) circling it.  Our circle (earth) circles a circle (sun,) which circles a circle (milky way,) which theoretically circles a circle (universe.)  Our life is a circle, and even if we do not reincarnate, our offspring represent our DNA's next circle.  Our timelessly recognized Zodiac is a beautiful circle, and while nearly all ancient civilizations recognized this importance, our civilization has lowered it to an amusement on the last page of the fifth section of the newspaper.  History repeats itself – that is a circle.  Some of the best astronomers of our world, the Mayans, saw these circles.  Their calendar has no leap years and is more accurate than the gregorian calendar we use today.  Have you heard of the 30th of February?  We need it once or twice a century to stay current.  Upon their observations and experiences, and their mathematics, the Mayans created their great long count calendar.  And retro dated it to start its count two to three thousand years before their own existence.  Why would they do that?  This is a huge question explored by John Jenkins, but the key is the precision of their observations.  They saw the cycles.  From their quote-unquote 'primitive' existence they were not only able to predict every solar and lunar eclipse even to this day, but they were able to place themselves, with amazing accuracy, within a 26,000 year cycle, known to us as the precession of the equinoxes.  Their format was a base twenty counting system, ending at 13.0.0.0.0.  Historians have synchronized the gregorian calendar with that of the Mayans, and this is how we arrive at the ominous December 21st, 2012.  What is the significance of this date?  It is not on our new year, it is not at the turn of our century.  It is not even on Christmas.  To better answer this we need to consider where our zero date came from.  [MORE RESEARCH HERE] It is the birth of christ, or the estimated birth of christ, assuming that christ had a birthday.  The first chapter of the internet film Zeitgeist describes this idea well.  Christ did have a birthday, or at least Pisces the constellation did.  This was at our approximate zero date, and it is in relation to the precession of the equinoxes, the 26,000 year cycle recognized even by our modern astrologers.  For 2000 years the sun has risen into the constellation of Pisces during the winter solstices. Commonly recognized as christ.  However 2000 years is the approximate life span of Pisces, as identified by our astronomers, the Mayans, and even biblical scripture. [need scripture] The end of the world can be more honestly translated as the end of the Age, the next age being brought upon by the water bearer.  This is the constellation Aquarius – the next age in the precession.  We are now in the transitional time and soon the sun will be rising into Aquarius.  A new age is upon us.

Returning to the Mayan date of December 21st, 2012, what is significant? Everything.  On this date we have the ultimate convergence on a universal level, a calendrical level, on a historical level, on an astronomical level, and possibly even a transdimensional level.  This date is on our winter solstice.  The time of the annual rebirth, and this was carefully factored in by the Mayans.

As is common with many orbital patterns, our sun is traveling at a slight declination [term needed] as it orbits the galactic center.  This orbit takes 26,000 years, and is a central factor in our precession of the equinoxes.  For the past 13,000 years we have been in the "southern" [term needed] hemisphere of the galaxy.  On December 21st, 2012, we cross the equator, which will have an unknown effect on our planetary physics.  It is well known that our planet has experienced multiple polar shifts, and it is well known that we are over due for one.  Our sun switches it's north and south poles every 12.5 years, and is also due in 2012.  If you have never flushed a toilet in the southern hemisphere, call someone in Australia and ask which way it swirls.  This is true of weather patterns as well.  Explore for yourself what effect a galactic shift of this magnitude may entail.

The Mayan calendar was not timed randomly, it was placed in observance of a cycle.  Labeling 2012 as the end of the world is a naive judgment.  Draw a circle and then locate it's end.  There will be great shifts and great changes, and no one can say if the change will be hospitable for our survival, but no one can say it will not be either.  Looking across a multitude of calendars and religions, it seems that a millennium change is in order anywhere from our 1960's to 200 years in our future.

This is heavy stuff.  I feel that it has been discussed in great depth and detail elsewhere, but only partly glued together.  Each detail has been analyzed extensively, and a person need go no further than the internet, not even further than google video in many instances, to become well informed on any one topic.  Aaron Russo's Freedom to Fascism and Zeitgeist, are the only two videos that come to mind that try to put these fragments together, but each seem to fall a bit short of the whole picture that I am starting to see.  Al Gore has recently said that he appreciates all the causes in the world; saving the rainforests, feeding starving kids, etcetera, but he asked that those activists pause for a minute and address the climate crisis.  He has a point, saving a Redwood tree won't do much good if the temperature raises too high for that tree to survive.  However I feel that we need to step back even further and look at an even larger picture.  It is a picture of a circle.  I once had a textbook called Looking out Looking in.  This is what I am feeling here.  In order to liberate ourselves as individuals we must look at this bigger picture of circles and cycles.  It is not only at the level of planets and galaxies, it is hiding at our daily level, it is hiding at a microscopic level, and it is hiding at an atomic level.  The cycle of precipitation and evaporation, planting and harvesting of crops, the female menstrual cycle, mammal digestion, it goes on and on and it is the essence of what we are.




Thursday, January 31, 2008
   
A vision
Something I found in a notebook...

Cycles.  Cycles of Beauty, Love, Pain, Garbage [waste] (deplenished resources.)  The Joy and Love of intimacy.  The seduction and Beauty of the female form.  A literal harem of the females in my life.  I saw Joan, and Kathy, and Sally, Molly Jill and Samantha.  The Zodiac was so pivotally important.  So obviously important.  Sally is the Taurus.   Stubbornly confident.  Stubbornly graceful and beautiful.  Hugely intelligent and has much to teach.  Joan.  The innocence of spring.  Ah Joan and her energy.  Her enthusiasm and her open intense emotions.  I saw her place, reconnecting those around her with youthful inspiration, waking them up, giving them a chance to live again and not sleep through this life.  Molly – I do not know her zodiac sign [cancer] but she is in her perfect place in life…  the beauty of her youth fading, her dreams diluting into reality, but her steadfast love for her growing children.  She must sacrifice most of herself, but that is where her beauty comes from.  Kathy – Kathy is also a Taurus, but she is much younger.
 |_______  This is only the beginning of the circle/cycle

Dimensions.  Every time I took a pointless drive to nowhere had a specific purpose.  It was to locate myself in a specific place at a specific time in the flat Third dimension, in order to daisy chain myself in the next dimension. Like a stop frame animation controlled from here (this frame) to be seen later.

There was a point while I was in the other space where I realized how easy it was to pop from one spot to another in the 3D.  There was a moment where I almost forgot the spot that I came from.  But I found it, and I came back, because this is the spot, this is where I fit, this is my vantage point from which to watch this awesome symphony of a wheel unfold into it's spectacular finale,.  Arts are crucial.  Music is crucial, yoga, diet – these things are fun, but also they are helping to tune the greatest instrument of art we possess, our body and our mind. 

In revisiting my memories, the recent festivals came to mind and I felt great love and gratitude, especially for Joan, but for everyone I interacted with there.  The things that I thought I had missed at the time – the themes, the appreciation, the values – I had not missed, and they were even more appreciated as I explored and interacted with the memory.

There was a large bit about Virgo as well.  The virgin.  The mother.  Virgo's time is nine months into the cycle.  She is young and innocent yet old enough to have forgotten some of the excitement of youth.  The invigoration of youth.  She knows it is her time to bear children, which is beautiful, but with it comes the responsibility of being done with herself, her duty soon to turn to the next generation.  I saw Samantha too, missing this fun, these festivities, this love, I remember saying, "There is room for you too," and feeling sad for her.  Feeling her pain, and then with absolute clarity I saw that this pain was her place.  Not only was I unable to do anything about it, but I would be dislocating her from the cycle, her place in the circle if I removed her problems.  I can answer her suffering, but that is why it is not me that is suffering.  She is in the right place.  All I can do is give her my love.

I saw too my own self.  I saw that I have been doing this for a long time.  I have come a long way and I have a great deal of knowledge.  I want to write 'old soul' but that is someone else's thought from before the trip.  I am Sagittarius.  I watched my hand as I wrote and I saw the old hand of a wizard.  Long fingers, skinny with fat balled joints.  White hair – thin white hair and long yellowish nails.  I saw this as I tried to record a bit of the vision in my notebook.  I laughed out loud.  I laughed not only at my poor shaky intoxicated letters, but at the degree of limitation of our 26 characters.  I thought of the Mayans and at their elaborate hieroglyphs and I laughed again, for the first time seeing our language as inferior to theirs.  And I realized that they figured this all out early.  They took off before it was time.  They didn't crumble, they transcended.

Anyway I saw my age and that is when I began to realize that this is my story.  I am MAN.  This 2012 is my birthday, each thing that has crossed my path was not put there unintentionally.  That video I found on google I was supposed to find there.  I put it there for myself.  By taking that midnight drive when I was 17 I located myself precisely in space time as a building block, a stepping stone toward my self discovery, my self awareness.  "A forward escape into the past," we are being pulled through time by the end result.

To see nothing as an accident is a great tool to help be in the current moment.  Nothing can get in your way because whatever obstacle comes up, becomes your new way.

Jill – Virgo – industrious but innocent to the chemical she pedals.  Caffeine, sugar, these are some of the chemicals of the industrial world..  Empire.  I see Jill as having built for herself a successful profitable business on the footsteps of an inorganic industrial monster, no different even than the oil companies.  She is innocent to the dark side of what she is doing, but it is still the place she puts her energy and attention.

My quote, "It is everything"  I was trying to say that every moment of everyday of my life IS the next dimension.  We see flat snap shots every moment we exist.  Vivid memory, reminiscing, this is our way of rolling the film and seeing the trans-dimensional show.  When we really get there it will be full immersion – like wearing [crappy]3D glasses watching a movie of a mountain vs. climbing a real one.

Throughout time we are getting hints dropped on us.  I had the reece's pieces and coca cola to help wash things down.  This is where the chemical themes came from, but I connected that these poisons are ok, because everything is ok, and because ET even liked them.  I can not explain that better except to roll into my Star Wars references where George Lucas dropped us multiple Mayan connections, thereby placing these hints well within accepted society.  They are there for me to see.  And I am seeing them more and more. 


"Yes, this part too," I remember saying with pain, acceptance, appreciation and responsibility.  It was After.  After the birth, after the love and the gestation.  It was the part where it is time to reset.  Dark Ugly Sharp Rotting Smelly


The cloud that I have always felt is not a rotting brain as I like to say, but instead it is a cloud of self doubt, self denial, and putting myself off as less important than others.  The revelation of the vision: This is My story.  That confidence is the magic tool.  Everything happening around me is happening for me, to bring me to my end goal.  To complete my journey.  This is not arrogant because it is not discluding of others.  I am we.  We are I.  We ARE the stars.  We feel like individuals, but we are not.  We are characteristics of the whole.  When I proclaim, "I AM MAN," and "THIS IS MY STORY," this sentiment is also true of everyone around me.  To say we are all family or we are all brothers is only part of the connection.  We are all one.  I think it is the third dimensional experience that divides us, but it is only a division from this limited point of view, this perspective.  Mckenna's words are perfect here and I am not sure that I have them quite right:

"We are being pulled out of the past by an end already determined, sitting ahead of us in time." Very loose quote.


[In my original notes]I wrote a line about the tent being 'their womb' that was a reference to a festival when we tried to crash in someone else's tent and got kicked out.  In the vision we were gestating.  There was a small group of us in a humid space with an eerie lighting effect, like the 'power animal' cave in Fight Club except instead of ice it was pink flesh.  We knew it was almost time.  We knew there was a birth coming.  I got too close to the birth canal and could have almost gone to the other side, been born, into what I do not know.  It was scary but it was the cycle the way of things.  Just that it wasn't time yet.  I pushed away from the canal waiting for the right time.

So we had the attraction, the dancing and the romancing.  We had the lustful and passionate coming together of bodies, and minds.  The gestation and hanging out in the womb.  The beautiful birth, and the final decaying step cleaning up for the cycle to begin again.  I sat in the fire, fully immersed in each phase of this cycle and throughout the entire thing there was so much love.  So much love.  I am emotional even now writing about it.  Tears of joy and a knot in my throat.  So much LOVE!!




Monday, January 28, 2008
   
MONEY

Paul Grignon's 47-minute animated presentation of "Money as Debt" tells in very simple and effective graphic terms what money is and how it ... all » is being created. It is an entertaining way to get the message out. The Cowichan Citizens Coalition and its "Duncan Initiative" received high praise from those who previewed it. I recommend it as a painless but hard-hitting educational tool and encourage the widest distribution and use by all groups concerned with the present unsustainable monetary system in Canada and the United States